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Gold

by Brian Bulger

/
1.
My Son 04:43
You never needed much, just a conversation You shuddered at the touch of simple fascination Well I cut those ties, and I slammed that door With all my lies, what was I good for? Dead still in your bed That joy was killed years ago Practiced words in your head You’re showing all you can show My son, I left you this way My fortune, was a silver cage Deep sigh, and your head hung low Follow my shadow, my shadow You were the golden child, in a gravel world They said tame that wild animal But you can’t rest him, there’s a noise inside That constant question, who am I? I’m dead still in my bed I killed that joy years ago There’s haunted words in my head From that letter you wrote I’m trying to read it And stand up and face him ‘Cause all that he needed Was a conversation
2.
Tend 04:56
Visions blur of what we were on that Saturday Memory fades you gave only pain as you walked away In the middle of the night you sang that song so slow I’d forgotten what it was like to have my heart so low You tend to love me, when you’re high above me You tend to want me, when visions haunt me Can’t you see I’m breakin’ From the very start I just wanted you to tend to my heart Keep your change you’re just pretending I see right through You paint the road with the coldest story you ever told In the middle of the night you sang that song so slow I’d forgotten what it was like to have my heart so low You can hide all you want But I see right through You can fake all you want I can see you’re bruised I can see you I can see you
3.
She’s drinking from the corner Of our dust-filled cement And she’s wishing she was older To regret the things she meant to say She’s thinking that horizon Shines only on the good The whispers keep on piling She’s wishing she understood, understood Give me your ghosts, give me your ghosts And I will carry it all, carry it all, oh oh, carry it all Give me your ghosts, give me your ghosts And I will carry it all, carry it all, oh oh, carry it all And she’s hiding underneath the covers She wants to be just like her mother She’s hiding underneath the covers Oh who would even bother, to come and be, her shelter In the churches and the meetings It’s a posed piece of art But the secret that she’s keeping Makes her wants to fall apart, fall apart Maybe they’ll put down their phones Realize they’re not alone Stop the shouting, go down the hall Catch her as she falls And they’ll catch her as she falls Catch her as she falls Tell her it’s not her fault Tell her it’s not her fault
4.
This city, full of mystery, but I’ve found it out This color, like no other, but I’ve wiped it out Those mountains, flow like fountains, but I’ve drained them out This midnight, we’re told to sit tight, but I’m running out You take my trembling hands With my bricklayer heart, you make your plans I can’t go on and on Would you cover me with a steady song? Those bright eyes, full of sunrise, but the moon was out That laughter, pitter-patter, but I could only shout Please forgive me now I couldn’t let the light out (With) My bricklayer heart I won’t get very far It’s all coming down To your sweet, sweet sound I remember that feeling, like cracks in the ceiling And I’d wake up and see the damage I’d done And I was just another son, of this constant numb, that for some Seems to break our lungs and shatter our make-believe homes of safety And it would break me, tell me I was the fake me, until I would forget me Like a storm chaser I sought out the fear ‘Cause there was always something wrong with having my head clear, I couldn’t just sit tight, knowing that tomorrow was another fight And the day to day chaos was ripping out the light Alone, forgotten, I was set on the highest shelf I was not remembered, so I forgot myself It’s easy to see the damage you’ve done, when you tell yourself everyday But I’m not just another son, of this constant decay I’ll find the joy in the morning, and I reach out and grab it I found the answer when I realized, I didn’t have it
5.
Never thought that I’d be here Sitting all alone Never thought after all these years I’d be a stepping stone Down where we couldn’t find our words The memory won’t leave my mind I know what I should have said Oh time won’t you be kind We run away, it’s all we know to do We change our ways, and curse the roads we choose Well I’m holding on to you, always Like swords we cut our dreams apart Always playing it safe No this heart never made it far The unknown too great to face Well here you are with your head held high And I’m still stuck down here I never knew what love was Until it disappeared Well I’m holding on to you ‘Cause it’s all I know to do And I’m born, with a coward’s heart In the blackest of nights You’re holding me so tight And I’m always moving But you stay the same We run away, it’s all we know to do We change our ways, and curse the roads we choose Well I’m holding on to you, ‘cause it’s all I know to do I’m holding on to you, always

about

These songs are about pain.
We are all holding on, struggling to keep our fragile lives still.
Sometimes all we see is the dirt in our lives and relationships,
but there is value in the struggle.
Scrape the dirt away and see the gold.


Musicians:

Acoustic Guitar & Vocals / Brian Bulger
Violin / Taylor Gibson
Keys / Phillip Bulger
Bass & Drums / Dalton O' Connor
Electric Guitar / Sutton Porth

BGV on 'My Son' / Madeline Hanley
BGV on 'Tend' & 'Bricklayer Heart' / Rachel Bulger
BGV on 'All I Know to Do' / Brittany Bradford

All lyrics and music by Brian Bulger.

Mixing and mastering by Doc O' Connor Audio.
www.dococonnoraudio.com

Recorded in Republic, MO.

credits

released April 27, 2016

license

all rights reserved

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about

Brian Bulger Springfield, Missouri

alt-folk singer songwriter.

KC MO.

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